It Can Work For You! Chap1
by Chornyi
Summary: Chapter one of my new humor story.. Rated PG13 for some violence. Thanks for reviewing and liking this story idea, guys!


It Can Work For You!  
  
By Chornyi  
  
Not mine.. Not even Ian, unfortunately. You know whose they are.  
  
My first attempt at humor.. Got the idea and couldn't resist. Hope the fans of my more serious work aren't disappointed.. :)  
  
...................................................................................  
  
Chapter 1- Expunge Negative Energy  
  
-'Remove negative energy from your body, thus cleansing your inner being and preparing you to express postitive emotions to others- release the negative energies by confronting feelings of anger, resentment and pain in a safe environment.'-  
  
Ian forgets all about his shopping trip as he reads the first paragraph of chapter one of his new book.  
  
The first part of Step 1 instructs him how to admit he has negative emotions, and then confront them.   
  
Carefully placing the book in his coat pocket, Ian distributes a few more concealed weapons around his body, then leaves the mansion.  
  
Outside, it is starting to warm up, but he takes off neither his gloves or his hat.   
  
Anyone familiar with him who saw him on his way would have noticed instantly that something was up.   
  
His eyes, usually dark and solemn, are bright with excitement. He walks even faster then usual.  
  
This is it! The first step toward his new life, and he is confident it is one he can handle.  
  
He finds the object of his search in an alley near the subway entrance. Four young toughs lounging against the wall. They look up at his confident approach.   
  
The leader, a blond with spiky hair and a nasty grin, starts slowly walking to meet him.   
  
'Well, well, well.. Lost?'  
  
'No,' Ian answers.  
  
'Looking for someone, then?'  
  
'Yes.'  
  
'Well, you've found us. And now, I think, your wallet and that nice ring on your finger. The coat, too. Hurry up, man. Wouldn't want to have to get rough with you.'   
  
But the eager gleam in his eyes belies those words- he'd love to get rough with Ian.  
  
'I don't think so,' Ian answers him. He pauses and assumes the Position- legs apart, hands behind his back at waist level, head bowed.  
  
The toughs stare at him for an instant. Then the blond leader shakes his head.  
  
'You have a death wish?'   
  
'Sometimes,' Ian says without raising his head.  
  
One of the others, a short redhead with a garnet chip on the side of his nose and triple-pierced ears shakes his head. 'I don't know,' he says to the blond. 'This guy is creepy. Let's go.'  
  
'Forget it, Nails.'  
  
'But, Wolf-'  
  
'I said forget it.'  
  
The blond circles Ian slowly, looking him up and down. Ian doesn't move, even when the boy gets close. Wolf sneers.  
  
'Hey, are you a pussy, man?' he asks.  
  
'No,' Ian answers.'  
  
'Well, then why're you standing there like that?'  
  
'I am preparing to cleanse my emotions by releasing the negative feelings caused by rejection and lack of self-worth.'  
  
'Umm..' For an instant, Wolf is stumped.   
  
Then he shrugs, motions to the others and pulls a switchblade out of his jeans jacket. 'Maybe I can help you with that, man.'  
  
'I was counting on that...'  
  
...   
  
A few minutes later, Ian looks around the alley.   
  
The toughs lie sprawled in various postions on the ground. Two are unconcious, three are bleeding.   
  
Wolf is concious. He stares up at Ian with wide, horrified blue eyes. 'What.. are you, man?' he asks in a voice perilously close to a whimper.   
  
Ian doesn't answer him. He's not finished yet.   
  
Raising his face to the sky, he closes his eyes.   
  
'I feel anger!' he screams suddenly.   
  
Wolf jerks and lets out a yelp, but Ian ignores him. 'I feel unworthy and unloved!' he continues. He gives the words time to sink in, then cries out again. 'I feel pain! I am lonely and miserable! My existance is a travesty! I want to die!'  
  
Then Ian opens his eyes and stands a minute, the echoes of his voice fading.   
  
The release is incredible.   
  
For the first time in his life, he feels free.  
  
Turning away, he walks from the alley and heads back towards the mansion, one hand in his coat pocket, touching the precious book.   
  
--- 


End file.
